4 Wilsey Square

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Ridgewood, NJ 07450



How Often Do You Prioritize Your Own Wishes?

How Often Do You Prioritize Your Own Wishes?

Often those who are generous toward others, overlook recognizing and certainly asking for their own priorities to be considered by others.

The "give and take" balance is tilted in favor of accommodating others, sometimes not even realizing one's own wishes are similarly worth asking someone to accommodate.

In some cases, the person who has this type of imbalance either overall or with a particular person, does the accommodating not necessarily from love and kindness.

Within some people, accommodating arises as protection from fear of rejection, criticism, or abandonment by another person.  The inner logic is, "if I continue giving, then I'll never be faced with the possibility of someone I care about, declining or not offering me their care, time, or effort. 

If you've ever felt yourself to be in this position, of anxiety regarding the possible result of declining to do a favor for someone, then this may be among your reasons to seldom ask someone else to take care of your interest.

Fear of saying "no" is uneasy enough to hold inside.

How much greater your fear may therefore be, to go steps beyond this and actively ask for a specific need of yours to be considered by someone!

I encourage you to take on the project of realizing you have the right to decline satisfying someone's request.

And, you have the same right as all individuals, to trust your sense of fairness's good guidance to ask reasonably of someone else's time and effort on your behalf.

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