4 Wilsey Square

Ste 7

Ridgewood, NJ 07450



Truthful Words Delayed, Hurt More Powerfully

Truthful Words Delayed, Hurt More Powerfully

People sometimes believe that delaying statements which they imagine will be negatively received, is better than to directly tell someone this news.

If I decide against attending your party and feel you may be insulted by this, then instead of telling you my truth, I'll avoid doing so for as long as possible.

In my mind, I don't want to face the consequences of how I imagine you'll feel upon hearing my news.

So, instead of directly declining your invitation, I'll not make any comment unless you bring it up.  

Instead I'll wish you'll either "get" the idea of my lack of interest since I didn't comment.

Or, since I don't comment, you may self-silence from your own inhibition about asking me whether or not I received your invite and would like to attend your event.

The ensuing silence between us on this subject augments doubt and uncertainty on both sides.

I wonder if you care about me, my party, and what is the reason you delay telling me your decision whether or not to attend.
I hesitate to ask because my self-doubts increase.

You may be glad I don't touch the subject of my party invite because you guess my feelings may be hurt by turning me down.

At last the time comes when by necessity, I ask if you'll attend my party.

And now your "no" hurts me more deeply because I was fooled by my doubts, and disappointed because I assumed you'd not avoid speaking your truth w me.

And now you feel a little worse, because what started as imagined protection of my feelings, ended in the reality of exacerbating hurt feelings in me.


Speak your truth because the integrity of doing so will go a long way to restoring any actual or imagined harm.

Contact Me





9:00 am-6:30 pm


9:00 am-6:30 pm


9:00 am-6:30 pm


9:00 am-6:30 pm


9:00 am-6:30 pm


9:00 am-4:00 pm