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Valuing Our Anxiety

Valuing Our Anxiety

This title may sound a little strange in light of the common view of anxiety as a feeling to get rid of as soon as possible.

Whether directly with drugs to suppress anxiety, or indirectly by popularized experts who advise us on multiple ways ion self-calming, the basic idea is that our anxiety requires expulsion from our lives.

While certainly a highly undesirable sensation, the unanswered question is why anxiety exists within us in the first place.  And secondly, does our anxiety have anything of worth to offer us?

Why it exists in the first place, is as a warning sign of danger to ourselves within the immediate term. 

This brief blog post has ordinary psychological and emotion based anxiety, not the type which develops from a circumstance we'd all agree is an actual life threat or terrorization to a person.

Ordinary anxiety stems from repeated encounters which diminish our sense of self during our growing up years.

Usually this occurs from how we felt at the time from this, and the limitations upon us to alter the way we were parented.

An anxious child is often by nature someone who cares strongly about other people's feelings.  Due to their high amount of care toward others, their devoting nature is more easily damaged than someone who is less emotionally attached to what a parent tells them.

A parent who only noticed us and mostly interacted with us in order to teach us life lessons, is an example of conditional love which in some of us, established anxiety from wondering why we aren't loved consistently for being ourselves.   

 As well meaning as these corrections may have been, a child who mostly receives attention when being corrected, will very likely grow into the adult who expects similarly with their intimate partner.

Or, this anxious child becomes the adult who may fear failing their partner's expectations, and who then prevents hearing this anticipated criticism by effort to control one or more of the partner's understanding of themselves, the relationship, their time and their activity.  The hidden emotional logic of the anxious partner is to position the other partner to most likely show acceptance of the one who fears rejection and criticism.


Take your anxiety, AKA childhood fears of losing love, being criticized or rejected by someone whom you'd like feeing emotionally close, through serious examination through your adult, non-anxious self, and through your intuition.

If your anxiety tells you to not trust your partner's word, then ask your non-anxious self and your intuition for assistance to determine whether your anxiety truly warns you of a risk, or if your anxiety is a theme song from times you had no power to accept or decline conditions or meaningful people who misunderstood and possibly mistreated or neglected you.

Your intuition will not mislead you, and together with your reasonable self, may unfold the wrongs which were done to you years ago and locked your helpless feeling into anxiety.

This is the start of your freedom to know the true qualities of any relationship in your life today.

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